Inanimate Objects Love
by Yukitsu
Summary: The boys' belongings also have a mind of their own and relate their experiences with their respective masters.
1. Azusa's Table

**Inanimate Objects Love**

By Yukitsu

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Notes: It's crack, okey? D: First written while with LMC on MSN. It'll be a series, by every gay pair Nishiura can have. CRACK, I SAY.

* * *

**Azusa's Table**

I like my owner. He's a nice enough boy. He makes sure the stuff on me are always organized, and that my surface is always clean. He's had me for ten years, but here I am, still looking like three. I might have gotten chipped and scratched now and then from accidental brushes with my friend, the aluminum bat, but Azusa is nothing but disciplined.

He's been busy lately, though. When high school started, he joined a new team and, to my understanding, became captain again. He was only home a few hours each day, and that was to eat and sleep, not to study. I often wondered where in the world this boy cracked those books open.

But that's not my point. After their first big game, his schedule lightened up enough that he could take friends home again (he doesn't really like to because of the women here, but sometimes he brings a few over to study). It's nice to be used for academic progress, but that isn't really the case, is it?

These days, my boy spends a lot of time lying down on me, usually with another boy on top of him. I can certainly take the extra weight – I'm made of good wood, after all, and the other boy doesn't weigh too much – but the rocking and the other movements they make are troublesome for my legs. It makes me feel my age, all ten years of it, and that's never really good.

They're at it again. Oh, my back….

Sometimes, odd things drip on me, too. They haven't left stains yet, but they do sometimes tend to smell. Azusa cleans the mess up carefully afterwards, of course, but it does get uncomfortable. My close friend, the bed, told me once that they use me often because I'm easier to clean than she is, though they also sometimes engaged in the activity on top of her. Always leaves her rumpled and flustered, I say.

Oh, dear, one of my legs is creaking. This is certainly not good, not good at all. I do hope Azusa notices, but he seems terribly distracted during these moments….

"Tajima, the ta—tab—table will break."

Ah, he did notice. That's my boy, never lets me down.

"Just a bit… more!"

"Aa—mmmhn. W-wait, dam—fuck."

…And this increase in movement is supposed to be keeping me from breaking?

"Just a—bit—!"

"U-uhn…!"

Ah. They've stopped. Just in time, too. My leg is killing me. That uncomfortable thing on my back is there, too, but that's really nothing when compared to the damage to my leg. Azusa better repair me, or he will find his beloved mittens gone.

….

What now?

Oh, my. Clearly, I forgot that they can do it over and over in a single night.

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5:46AM 1/06/2008


	2. Yuu's Chinko

**Yuu's Chinko**

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HI, I'M YUU'S CHINKO! I'M FIT AND HEALTHY BECAUSE I GET A LOT OF EXERCISE, BUT YUU PAMPERS ME, TOO. HE GIVES ME HUGS! YUU'S BEEN PUTTING ME TO GOOD USE THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, BUT LATELY, HE'S BEEN LETTING ANOTHER BOY GIVE ME HUGS.

HE'S BEEN PUTTING ME IN STRANGE PLACES, TOO. IT'S A LITTLE DARK AND IT'S KINDA WEIRD, BUT IT'S STILL NICE SO I'M NOT COMPLAINING. IT'S LIKE GETTING RUBBED DOWN REALLY FIRMLY AND MASSAGED, ONLY WARMER AND BETTER. I DON'T MIND BECAUSE AZUSA IS VERY CLEAN.

AZUSA'S PROSTATE IS VERY FRIENDLY AS WELL. HE'S A LITTLE SHY, THOUGH, BUT I JUST HAVE TO NUDGE HIM A BIT AND HE WARMS UP OKEY. I MISS THE LITTLE GUY ALREADY. I WONDER WHEN YUU WILL HAVE FREE TIME TO PLAY NOW. THESE DAYS, HE ONLY PLAYS WITH ME ONCE A DAY, AND SOMETIMES NOT EVEN! IT GETS A LITTLE LONELY.

SOMETIMES, AZUSA PUTS ME IN HIS MOUTH. YUU USUALLY HAS TO TELL HIM TO, BUT WHEN AZUSA IS IN A GOOD MOOD OR IF YUU'S IN A BAD MOOD, HE DOES IT ON HIS OWN. IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD, BUT IT ALSO FEELS NICE. AZUSA'S PROSTATE TELLS ME IT'S BECAUSE AZUSA IS A NICE BOY THAT WAY, ALTHOUGH HE SAYS THAT AZUSA DOESN'T PLAY WITH HIM AS MUCH AS HE PLAYS WITH ME.

YUU'S PROSTRATE, MY BRO, MEETS UP WITH AZUSA'S CHINKO, TOO. HE SAID IT WAS GREAT. HEY, B I /B COULD FEEL IT FROM WHERE I WAS SO I KNOW IT WAS GREAT, BUT I STILL THINK IT'S BETTER WHEN YUU USES ME. AZUSA'S PROSTRATE GETS LONELY ALL THE TIME SO I TRY TO CHEER HIM UP AS MUCH AS I CAN WHEN I'M THERE. YUU UNDERSTANDS!

I DON'T THINK AZUSA'S TABLE LIKES ME. HE SAYS I MAKE A MESS ON HIS BACK, BUT IT'S REALLY AZUSA'S CHINKO. I'M ALWAYS TOLD IT'S MY FAULT, THOUGH. I'M JUST HAVING FUN, YOU KNOW! D:

THAT PROSTATE IS A FUNNY GUY. HE ALWAYS SAYS NO BUT HE DOES THINGS THAT SAY YES. IT'S KINDA CUTE! SOMETIMES I CAN'T STOP MYSELF AND KIND OF EXPLODE ALL OVER HIM! I ALWAYS SAY SORRY BECAUSE IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO MAKE HIM SUPER EMBARRASSED. I THINK HE SECRETLY ENJOYS IT. REALLY CUTE, RIGHT?

MY BROTHER SAYS THAT AZUSA'S CHINKO IS ALSO SHY, BUT A LITTLE BOLDER THAN HIS BROTHER. I THINK IT CAN'T BE HELPED, BECAUSE PROSTATES ARE REALLY MORE MILD-MANNERED. I THINK AZUSA'S CHINKO IS A NICE GUY, TOO. TALLER, BUT SLIMMER. I ALWAYS HAVE TO REACH UP TO REACH HIM. IT'S KINDA FUNNY!

AZUSA'S CHINKO IS A LITTLE NEW TO ALL THIS PLAY, BUT HE'S REALLY EXCITABLE. I JUST HAVE TO NUDGE HIM A LITTLE AND HE'S ALL GAME ALREADY! YUU HUGS US BOTH AT THE SAME TIME, SOMETIMES. IT'S REALLY AMAZING! THE FIRST TIME, AZUSA'S CHINKO STARTED CRYING A LITTLE. I WANTED TO TELL HIM TO CALM DOWN AND STOP, BUT FOR SOME REASON, HIS TEARS FELT REALLY GOOD AND STUFF FELT A MILLION TIMES BETTER! THAT CHINKO HAS TALENT AND POTENTIAL!

HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH DISCIPLINE, THOUGH. SOMETIMES, WE HAVEN'T BEEN HUGGING ALL THAT LONG AND HE EXPLODES ALREADY. IT TAKES ME A LITTLE LONGER TO EXPLODE, BUT AZUSA'S CHINKO DOESN'T MIND. IN FACT, HE'S USUALLY HALFWAY THERE FOR HIS SECOND TIME! YOU HAVE TO GIVE THE GUY CREDIT FOR STAMINA! I THINK THAT'S ONE THING I'M JEALOUS OF AZUSA'S CHINKO FOR. HE ONLY NEEDS TO SIT FOR A WHILE AND THEN HE'S UP AND ABOUT AGAIN ALREADY.

SOMETIMES, AZUSA PLAYS WITH ME, TOO. HIS HANDS HAVE CALLUSES. THE TEXTURE WAS STRANGE AT FIRST, AND HE WASN'T VERY GENTLE, BUT NOT HE'S NEARLY AS GOOD AS YUU AT IT. I LIKE HOW AZUSA'S HANDS ARE BIGGER AND WARMER, THOUGH.

OH, LOOKS LIKE YUU'S READY TO PLAY ALREADY. BYE BYE NOW! I HOPE WE BECOME GOOD FRIENDS!

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6:45PM 01/08/2007


	3. Takaya's Mitt

**Abe's Mitt**

* * *

Um. Um… Hi! I'm Takaya's mitt. Well, one of them, anyway…. But he says I'm the best, and he always takes me out so he can use me for official games! Before, he'd use me a lot, but I'm getting a little old, so he lets the other catchers do the job during practice. But that's okey, he was using me during his whole middle school, and he says I'm lucky. Uhi.

When I was a young mitt, Takaya and I used to be abused a lot. Well, not really abused. Um, bruised often. His pitcher then, Motoki-kun, he had really strong balls and it was hard for us to catch. When I did, I'd feel juuust a little mauled around. Takaya used to cry at night because of it, but that was when he was still little and stuff.

Takaya didn't use to let other people touch me. When he was in middle school, he didn't really mind, either, but someone accidentally scratched me and he got reaaally angry. There was a biiig fight! Good thing Motoki-san was there. He bullied the other guys away and then made Takaya stop crying. Takaya used to cry a lot. But--but they were manly tears!

I'm surprised, though. He let his new pitcher carry me during one of their games. He let the new pitcher carry all of his gear, actually, so I guess it doesn't count, but he's never let anyone touch me after that time so it does matter!

The new pitcher—uh, Renren—he's really nice. His balls don't hurt when I catch them, either, and Takaya's wrists don't seem to get achey after. That is really good! Takaya seems happier now with his new team. I'm not sure why. His old teammates weren't all that bad! Maybe he likes it that everyone's his age?

He makes sure to clean me often. He says it's relaxing. I'm not sure why, but okey, if it makes Takaya happy! Some days, he cleans me more than usual. Like after practice and he comes home extra late because he says (to his mom. Um, I don't mean to eavesdrop, I just overhear!) that he walked Renren home.

Oh, he wants to clean me now. It kinda tickles when he's all distracted like that, but that's no problem, I'm tough!

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9:10 PM 2/21/2008


	4. Ren's Floor

**Mihashi's Floor**

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I don't think I need to introduce myself to you, but just so you don't make any mistakes, I shall remind you of who I am: I am Renren's bedroom floor. Unlike the rest of the furniture and other unimportant things in this room, I I'm /I always clean. (Well, Renren slipped on me once and banged his head, but that's beside the point)

I first met Renren when he was still very small. Well, he's still very small now, but those are just unnecessary details. His mother, Naoe-chan, used to own my bedroom. She left to be with some guy, and when she returned (after a terribly long time, mind you), she had this little slip of a crybaby with her. I remember Renren back then – he drooled a lot and puked on me a lot and left other nasty things everywhere. He also cried a lot and hugged that worn out mitt all the time.

In short, I did not like him at all. He was such a noisy child and he wrote on me all the time! But of course, it was good that there were more people in my room to keep me entertained. Admittedly, it was very lonely when he left for middle school, just as it had been when Naoe-chan had.

He's been back for a few months now, though. I don't think he was very happy in the school he had gone to before, judging from the way he cried at night when he was freshly home, but he's doing much better now. Not that he spends a lot of time in my room. That boy likes mucking around outdoors too much, it's so very unhealthy.

Renren brings his friends over, often. There are usually nine of them, all boys from his baseball team. Fortunately, they know enough to clean up before they step all over Renren's room. My room is big enough that they can all fit in comfortably, which they do. I still dislike that Abe boy for scratching me with the low table he was trying to bring in, though – you'd think that he'd be able to take his eyes off my Renren for a while to bring a desk in properly, but no, boys will be boys and all that.

Well. They're good boys. They sometimes run around Renren's room, but most of them sit properly like charming young adults and don't go stomping around. Except for that Abe boy. That one is always stomping everywhere and bullying my Renren. I tripped him once (with great effort, and I had to break a floor board), but Renren looked so guilty so I never did it again.

I guess he's not I that /I bad. He once came over to watch over Renren when he was sick (scratched me with a chair that time, the little punk) and stayed until evening. I thought it was very sweet, even if he was yelling half the time. He should just tell Renren he likes him; I'm pretty sure my Renren likes him back (even if I think it's bad taste).

Oof. Ow. Renren fell on me again. You'd think that as a sixteen-year-old, he'd be able to stay on his bed at night, but here he goes again, rolling all over. Maybe his old bed was a futon? I heard those were warm on the floor…. Hmm.

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1:38 AM 2/27/2008


End file.
